Vaping, BPD and the Breathing Behind It: Why It’s About Calm, Not Nicotine

Vaping, BPD and the Breathing Behind It

It’s not the vape that calms you, it’s your breath reminding you that you’re still here.

If you’ve ever watched someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) vape, you might notice something; it’s not always about the nicotine. It’s the ritual. The inhale. The exhale. The pause in between.

That moment of breathing can feel like calm in the chaos — a mini grounding technique disguised as a habit.

The Calm in the Cloud

For many people with emotional dysregulation or BPD, vaping (or smoking before it) becomes a coping tool. The physical act of inhaling slowly, holding the breath, and exhaling a visible mist mimics deep breathing, something that’s often taught in DBT and mindfulness.

It’s soothing. Predictable. Controllable.
When everything feels like too much, that rhythm, breathe in, hold, breathe out, can bring a fleeting sense of stability.

But here’s the catch: that comfort is often more about the breathing, not the nicotine.

The Nicotine Illusion

Nicotine tricks the brain into thinking it’s helping us relax, but physiologically, it does the opposite.
It’s a stimulant, not a sedative. It raises heart rate, blood pressure, and floods the brain with dopamine, that instant “feel good” hit.

In the short term, that hit can take the edge off distress. But once the effects fade, the brain dips and craves another puff to get back to that same “calm” feeling.

It becomes a loop:
Feel anxious → vape → short relief → nicotine wears off → more anxiety → vape again.

That’s not failure, t’s chemistry.
And understanding that helps shift the goal from blame to awareness.

Easing the Grip: Reducing Nicotine Gently

If vaping has become a coping tool, going cold turkey might feel impossible and that’s okay.
One practical step is to use a nicotine-free vape alongside your usual one, or switch gradually to a lower nicotine strength.

You might notice that when you reach for the vape, it’s often about the action, not the nicotine.
Having both options, one with and one without nicotine, can help you begin to notice when your body wants nicotine and when your mind simply wants that calming breath.

It’s a small but powerful step toward regaining control.

Sleep, Nicotine, and Restless Nights

Nicotine is sneaky when it comes to sleep.
Because it’s a stimulant, it keeps your brain alert and your heart rate elevated, even when your body’s begging for rest. Here’s how it affects sleep:

Lighter, more restless sleep: Nicotine reduces deep (slow-wave) and REM sleep, the two stages where your body and brain truly recover.
Shorter sleep time: People who vape or smoke often take longer to fall asleep and wake up more frequently through the night.
Morning fatigue: Even if you think you’ve slept, nicotine prevents full restoration, you wake up foggy, irritable, and emotionally fragile.

And for those with BPD, lack of sleep can be brutal. Emotional regulation depends heavily on rest — tiredness amplifies sensitivity, impulsivity, and feelings of emptiness or anger.

Many people report that their night-time vape feels like a wind-down ritual, but in truth, nicotine is quietly keeping the brain switched on, ready for “fight or flight.”
The result? You may fall asleep, but your body never fully lets go.

If cutting it out completely feels too hard, even switching to a nicotine-free vape in the evening can make a real difference. Over time, it helps your body reset its natural sleep rhythm, something no stimulant can do for you.

What’s Really Helping: The Breathing

If we strip away the nicotine and focus on the act itself, what’s calming isn’t the vapour, it’s the breathing pattern. Slow, rhythmic, intentional breathing lowers cortisol (the stress hormone), steadies the heart rate, and signals to the brain that it’s safe to relax.

That’s exactly what grounding and DBT techniques aim to teach.
So what if we could keep the calm and lose the chemical?

Try replacing vaping moments with these alternatives:

• Box breathing: Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4.

• Hand over heart breathing: Feel your heartbeat slow as you breathe deeply.

• Blowing bubbles: Sounds silly, but it uses the same breath control — and you can see the calm.

• Use a grounding object: Something to hold, fidget, or focus on while breathing deeply.

A Thought to Take Away

For many people with BPD, vaping isn’t really about nicotine at all, it’s about control, calm, and coping.
Understanding that changes everything. It’s not just about “quitting”, it’s about finding calmer ways to breathe through the chaos.

When you focus on the breath, not the cloud, you’re already moving towards calmer ground.

Your Calm in the Chaos,

Sami xx