The Post That Broke Her 💻💔

While we were away in France, I got a message from my daughter. She was upset, really upset.

It all started with a Facebook post.

A bit of background: my dad and I were estranged for many years, but we reconnected around eight years ago. Alongside him is his wife, my stepmother. Let’s just say it’s complicated. She and I don’t see eye to eye, and the truth is, she’s never really warmed to me or my daughter, Sydni.

Sydni has worked so hard for everything she’s achieved. A degree. Academic successes. Determination in the face of so many struggles. Yet she has rarely had a “well done” from that side of the family.

So imagine her feelings when, while I was away, her cousin got into university. And suddenly, there was a gush of praise and pride plastered all over Facebook from my stepmother.

For most people, that might sting a little. But for Sydni, it was crushing. She read those words and immediately turned them inward: “Why am I never good enough?” “Why doesn’t she like me?” “Why am I so unworthy of praise?”

Her message to me was full of pain. She didn’t want to see them. She didn’t want to congratulate her cousin. She felt worthless. Invisible. Unloved.

And once again, there I was, miles away, trying to pick up the pieces over the phone. Calming her. Reminding her of her worth. Telling her that this wasn’t about her value, but about the dynamics of adults who should know better.

But here’s the thing: for someone with BPD/EUPD, this isn’t “just jealousy” or “being oversensitive”. It cuts straight to the core of self-worth. It reopens every wound of rejection. It reinforces the painful belief of “I’m not enough.”

These are the moments people don’t see. The Facebook post that seems harmless to some is a grenade to others.

And as mums, we hold them through it. Again and again.

If you’ve ever had to soothe your child after something so seemingly “small”, please know, you are not alone. These aren’t small things in their world. They’re huge. And our love, our steady voice, our reminder of who they really are, that’s what keeps them afloat.

Your Calm in the Chaos,

Sami xx