Responsibility or Risk? When Medication Becomes a Minefield
Responsibility, Reality & the Space In Between
Content note: This blog discusses medication, self-harm risk, and crisis management. Please read with care.
There’s a phrase I hear a lot at the moment.
“She’s an adult now. She has to take responsibility.”
It’s been said by both the mental health nurse and the psychologist.
And on paper, I understand it.
She is an adult.
She does need autonomy.
She should be learning to manage her own care.
But here’s the part that never seems to make it into the conversation.
I’m the one who picks up the pieces when it goes wrong.
The Reality Behind “She Has to Take Responsibility”
Recently, I found out she hadn’t been taking her medication.
Not because she forgot.
Not because she didn’t have it.
But because she believes she doesn’t deserve it.
So she put it in the bin.
That belief, the self-blame, the self-hatred, isn’t a small thing.
It’s not defiance.
It’s not immaturity.
It’s the illness speaking.
And when medication stops suddenly, the consequences aren’t theoretical in our house, they’re immediate and physical.
When she restarts:
her blood pressure drops
she becomes dizzy
she faints
And layered on top of that?
emotional instability
increased self-harm risk
crisis escalation
This isn’t about independence versus control.
It’s about safety.
“You Shouldn’t Be Making Sure She Takes Them”
I’ve been told I shouldn’t be overseeing her medication.
That if she’s going to be an adult, she needs to manage it herself.
But no one sits with her when she collapses.
No one stays up through the night monitoring risk.
No one manages the aftermath of self-harm or crisis calls.
That falls to me.
And that’s where theory crashes into lived reality.
Because stepping back doesn’t look like empowerment when the result is:
physical collapse
emotional crisis
hospital involvement
It looks like abandonment, even if that’s not the intention.
Living in the Grey Area
This is the space parents like me live in.
Not overprotective.
Not hands-off.
Hyper-aware.
We’re told:
don’t enable
don’t control
don’t take responsibility
But we’re also expected to:
keep them safe
prevent crisis
manage risk
Those two positions don’t sit comfortably together.
And when professionals say “she has to learn”, I want to ask:
At what cost?
And who absorbs that cost when it goes wrong?
This Isn’t About Control — It’s About Containment
Making sure medication is taken isn’t about power.
It’s about:
bridging the gap between intention and capacity
recognising when someone’s thinking is distorted by illness
preventing harm while skills are still developing
Responsibility isn’t a switch you flick on at 18.
It’s something that grows, unevenly, shakily, with support.
And sometimes, support looks like standing closer than the textbooks recommend.
So What Do We Do?
Honestly?
We keep navigating the grey.
We keep advocating, even when it’s uncomfortable.
We keep trusting our instincts, even when they’re questioned.
We keep balancing autonomy with safety, minute by minute.
And we stop pretending this is simple.
If you’re a parent living in this same minefield, being told to step back while knowing you’re the one who will catch the fall, please know this:
You’re not failing.
You’re responding to reality.
And that matters.
Your calm in the chaos,
Sami ⚓💙
