When December Starts… and You’re Already Bracing Yourself

When December Starts… and You’re Already Bracing Yourself

December landed this morning with its usual glitter and noise.
And if I’m honest, my first thought wasn’t “Ooh, Christmas!”
It was more, “Right… how on earth are we going to manage this month?”

I think a lot of mums in our world feel this shift, that quiet, subtle tightening in your chest as the calendar flips into festive mode. Everyone else seems to glide into December with excitement, planning meals, booking Christmas markets, wrapping presents with carols on in the background.

Meanwhile, our December begins with… planning.
But a very different kind of planning.

Less “Which cheese board?”
More “How do we keep her steady?”
Less “What’s the best day to travel?”
More “Will she even cope?”

It’s a split-screen kind of Christmas.
One side glitter.
One side grit.

A Month That Needs Managing, Not Just Enjoying

Every year, I wish it could be simple.
But the truth is, December is one of the hardest months when you have a child who lives with emotional storms, trauma triggers, and a nervous system that gets overwhelmed at the drop of a hat.

The build-up, the noise, the lights, the pressure…
It’s a lot. Even for those without a chaotic emotional landscape.

And for my daughter, December often ramps up her anxiety, her sensory discomfort, and her impulsive urges.

For us, “impulsive” doesn’t just mean a quick mood change.
It means things like:

• sudden spending sprees

• binge-eating when everything feels too much

• or the darker, scarier impulses that no parent ever wants to see in their child

So yes… December needs preparing for.
Not in a “write a list, wrap the presents” way.
But emotionally. Logistically. Mentally.

The Decision We Didn’t Want to Make

Last month, we made a big call.
One that still stings, even though I know it’s the right one.

We decided not to go away for Christmas.

We changed flights, cancelled plans, rearranged everything.
And not because we don’t want a break or a bit of magic, goodness knows we need that more than ever.

But because we’ve learned, painfully, that we just don’t know what’s coming.
Not in December.
Not with her emotional highs and lows, or the way she can spiral so fast when she feels overwhelmed.

The idea of organising a trip and then cancelling it last minute felt like another layer of stress on top of an already-shaky month.

So we chose steady over sparkly.
Calm over chaos.
Flexibility over fantasy.

And let me be honest, there is grief attached to that.
Not dramatic grief.
More the quiet, heavy kind that settles in your chest and whispers, “Life wasn’t supposed to look like this.”

The Constant Scanning That No One Sees

If you’re a mum walking this same path, you’ll get this immediately.

We go into December on alert.

Not panicking.
Not catastrophising.
Just… quietly scanning.

Scanning for:

• rising anxiety

• changes in tone

• her body giving up on her

• signs she’s dissociating

• little clues that she might be struggling more than she’s saying

And it’s exhausting, isn’t it?
The mental load.
The emotional labour.
The “keeping Christmas alive” while also keeping your child alive.

People see the tree.
They don’t see the triage you’re doing behind it.

Planning December When You Don’t Know What You’re Planning For

This week, as I sat down with my kind of Xmas planner, it struck me…

We don’t plan December in the traditional sense.
We plan for possibilities.

We plan for:

• what to do if she’s overwhelmed

• how to manage crises when everything is closed

• the best distractions

• the safest structure

• and how to protect her mood without losing ourselves entirely

It’s not cute.
It’s not festive.
But it’s real.

And honestly?
It’s brave.
Braver than people will ever understand.

But Here’s What I’m Holding On To This December

Instead of the big gestures, the fancy trips, the picture-perfect Christmas…
I’m focusing on small, grounding things.

Mini moments.
Tiny rituals.
Life rafts.

Things like:

• five minutes of fresh air when the house feels heavy

• our Calm in 5 reset when emotions start to simmer

• softer evenings with low lights and no pressure

• making space to breathe before trying to make space for Christmas

Because December doesn’t need to be magical to matter.
It just needs to be manageable.

And for mums like us, that’s more than enough.

If your December looks different this year… you’re not alone.

If you’re cancelling plans, adjusting expectations, or choosing calm over chaos, please know:

You’re doing the right thing.
You’re not failing at Christmas.
You’re navigating it with courage and compassion during one of the most emotionally charged months of the year.

Our Christmas might look different.
But different doesn’t mean less meaningful.

Some years, the win is simply getting through December with a little steadiness, a little safety, and a few peaceful breaths along the way.

And if that’s where you are right now I’m right there too.
Walking it with you.

Your calm in the chaos,
Sami ⚓️