Can you name what you're feeling right now?
Not your child. You.
Because if you're a mum supporting a young adult with emotional dysregulation, or any kind of complex mental health, I'm going to guess that you spend a huge amount of time tuned into their feelings.
Reading the room. Watching for signs. Bracing yourself. Managing, soothing, worrying, loving with everything you have.
And somewhere in the middle of all of that, your own feelings got a little lost.
Does any of this sound familiar?
⚓️ You feel anxious but you couldn't quite tell someone why.
⚓️ You feel guilty but you're not entirely sure what for.
⚓️ You feel sad but it comes out as irritable.
⚓️ You feel exhausted but it goes bone-deep, not the kind sleep fixes.
⚓️ You feel proud of how far you've both come, and terrified of what comes next, at the exact same time.
My name is Sami Ward. I'm the founder of Chaos to Calm, and my daughter lives with BPD alongside a number of other complex conditions.
I know this life from the inside. The 2am searches. The walking on eggshells. The loving someone completely while quietly running on empty yourself.
And one of the things I noticed, for both of us, was how hard it had become to simply name what we were feeling in a given moment.
That's why I created The Chaos the Calm Feelings Wheel.
What is the Feelings Wheel?
It's a 9 inch magnetic wheel that takes you or your young adult from a big, overwhelming feeling like angry, scared or sad, right through to the specific emotion underneath.
Resentful. Terrified. Grief-stricken. Powerless.
Naming it doesn't fix it. But it's often the first small step towards understanding it. And understanding it is where everything else begins.
I started using it with my daughter during the hard moments. Instead of reaching for words neither of us had, we'd reach for the wheel. Something about pointing at a word, rather than having to find it from nowhere took the pressure off completely.
It opened conversations we couldn't have had any other way.
It's on our fridge. It stays on our fridge. ⚓💙
The Feelings Wheel is my gift to you and to your young adult.
All I ask is that you cover the postage to get it to your door.
9 inches - bold enough to see clearly, small enough for the fridge
Fully magnetic, no drawers, no losing it
Laminated and wipe-clean, made to last
For both of you, a tool for the hard moments and the quiet check-ins
You deserve to know what you're feeling too ⚓💙
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